RHOC Premiere and RHOBH reunion recap Double-Team

We had another real Housewives double-header last night, with real Housewives of Orange county making its eight season debut before the second part of the real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. I was anxious that the reunion need to be incredibly boring if they were hiding it behind the OC premiere instead of giving the episode its own week, which a lot of reunions have for at least one of their segments. Neither of Beverly Hills’ two parts had that leisure, and unfortunately, it was because nothing much interesting was said.

The OC premiere was a little a lot more successful, mostly because Vicky is still a stark, raving lunatic who has now inserted foreign objects into her face. a lot of of the rest of the premiere felt like a mid-season episode, which might bode poorly for the enjoyment value of the season to come. Still, let’s have a recap. Eso es para lo que estoy aquí.

1. Vicky had a chin implant. For the love of everything holy, if I had made a list of cosmetic procedures I thought might improve Vicky’s facial appearance, a chin implant would not have been in the top 30. If I’ve learned anything from living in a neighborhood with lots of rich older women who have had odd plastic surgery, it’s that implants and injectables are bad, modest lifts are good. instead of getting a facelift, which is really all that Vicky would have needed if she was unhappy with her loose skin, she just tried to fill the loose skin with random junk.

2. Vicky broke up with Brooks. Entonces tú sabes. One good decision, one bad decision. Par for the course, nearly literally.

3. Or did she break up with Brooks? a lot more TO COME.

4. Tamra and Eddie have moved in together and did start a fitness studio. There’s trouble in paradise, though, because Eddie doesn’t want Tamra to wear her shoes on the carpet. Don’t let the man get you down, Tamra.

5. Brianna had her baby. Vicky’s now a grandma, which will no doubt inspire a half dozen a lot more ill-advised cosmetic procedures. Also, I’m pretty sure she had pipe cleaners glued to her eyelids for her interviews instead of fake lashes. Unrelated, but still worth noting.

6. Tamra and Vicky still hate each other and everyone still hates Alexis. Or at least Tamra, Gretchen and Heather hate her, which might as well be everybody. For the record, I still hate Alexis too, even though I think she looks great without all her fake hair.

7. earth Jesus thinks he’s an art connoisseur. That’s it, that’s the joke.

8. Alexis thinks that if she keeps saying she got bullied, it’ll eventually be true. Sure, the women weren’t incredibly great to her, but all the stuff they said in Costa Rica last year was stuff that someone needed to say to Alexis. She is a shallow, materialistic faux-snob who acts better than everyone else out of the transparently insecure hope that maybe, someday, people will believe her. trying to alert someone to their own bad behavior, however indelicately, is not bullying.

9. Heather put Tamra and Vicky across from each other at her dinner party. That’s a incredibly amateur hostess mistake – if two people don’t get along, you put them on the same side of the table, but with at least one person between them. maybe Heather wants someone to get forcibly drowned in her new pool, though.

10. Do we like any of these women? toward the end of the episode when they were setting up the fights for next week, it struck me that I don’t think I have much, if any, genuine affection for any individual on this cast. Vicky is a dumpster fire of a human being. Tamra is funny, but craven and mean. Gretchen’s just on the show to push her various poorly conceived product lines. Alexis has a great new haircut, and that’s the only positive thing I can say about her. If Heather says “champs” one a lot more time, I’ll hunt her down and personally throttle her. In all the other versions of this series, there are people for whom I root in spite of their faults. In the OC, I just want to enjoy the world burn.

And now for the reunion…

1. Kyle tried to gloss over the difficulties in Adrienne’s marriage but Lisa wouldn’t let her finish her story. Kyle’s been team Adrienne all season, of coure, and when Andy asked about their marriage, she started in with the normal platitudes about how she thought their bickering was charming and normal for them, but Lisa cut in and said that, actually, things have been bad for a while and Paul had moved out before. Clearly, there are future commissions to be had from Adrienne and Paul, so Kyle’s still walking the company line.

2. pretty much all of the Housewives seem to think that Adrienne’s using her personal chef to plant bad things about Paul in the press. It certainly lends credence to what Brandi and Lisa have been saying all season about Bernie’s involvement, and not even Kyle spoke up to contradict the speculation that Bernie was making false abuse allegations against Paul and that Adrienne was likely on board con eso. Siempre he sido firme en mi creencia que Russell abusó genuina y continuamente, y estoy tan seguro de que Paul no le estaba haciendo lo mismo a Adrienne. Nada sobre su dinámica de relación muestra signos de alerta y, a diferencia de Taylor, no hay antecedentes médicos documentados de lesiones o incidentes. Si el resto del elenco tiene razón, Adrienne podría ser la peor persona que hemos tenido en las amas de casa reales. Hay poco más bajo que hacer acusaciones de abuso falsas. Es como informar falsamente una violación; Mentir solo hace que sea mucho más difícil para las víctimas reales ser tomadas en serio y procesar a sus atacantes.

3. Kim puede o no haber tenido caca en su almohada. Sentí que pasamos por alto este, ¿de dónde vino la caca? ¿Por qué Kim aparentemente admitió que había caca? ¿Cuál es la historia de la caca? Hable sobre enterrar el lede aquí, Bravo.

4. Ok, entonces se dijo mal, pero obtengo lo que Brandi estaba diciendo sobre la sobriedad de Kyle y Kim. No, no creo que Kyle esté “esperando” que Kim falle. Sin embargo, creo que Kyle está tratando regularmente de recordarse a sí misma que algo podría salir mal, porque ha disfrutado de su hermana autodestrucción durante décadas, y que sus esperanzas sean una recuperación 100% exitosa que debe parecer un riesgo emocional horrible. No culpo a Kyle por tratar de moderar sus expectativas, y creo que eso puede parecer que Kyle no se ve impresionado con los esfuerzos de Kim y tal vez incluso deseando que se apresure y falle y termine con él. No creo que eso sea realmente, y creo que Brandi debe haber pensado en eso un poco más duro antes de que ella lo dijera, pero puedo ver de dónde vendría el sentimiento generalizado y por qué Kyle actuaría de esa manera.

5. Paul ya no odia a Brandi, pero Adrienne todavía lo hace. Paul al menos se molestó en filmar una pequeña declaración para la reunión, que es mucho más de lo que podemos decir para su ex esposa, que aparentemente espera que todos olvidemos que existe, pero aún así consigue sus horribles zapatos y el vodka con sabor asqueroso.

6. Las maquinaciones inmobiliarias de Kyle y Mauricio son cada vez más transparentes. Incluso mientras Mauricio afirmaba que él y Kyle no mantuvieron mantequilla a Adrienne y Paul en comprar para obtener la prestación cuando vendían su casa, no pudo evitar alardear de eso cuando obtuvo la lista, lo vendió en dos semanas . Realmente convincente allí, chicos. Me refiero a que Bravo recortó la parte donde Mauricio distribuyó su tarjeta de servicio a todos en la sesión de reunión.